So, I’ve recently turned 27 years of age, and it honestly just feels weird. Hard to explain, but I am grateful for a new milestone in age. I spent the morning of my birthday in a reflective spirit, just pondering over life, things that have happened to me and for me as well as things I have experienced. Through journaling, I realised there are a lot of changes I want to make to continue being better, as well as stuff I need to let go of concerning certain characteristic traits and habits. Through that, I also accepted that I have become wiser and not just because I’m ageing in years, but just within myself the way I view, think about, and see life is very different to what it was once upon a time ago. Based on that and just the mindset I have been in, I thought it would make sense to share five things I’ve learnt in my 27 years of living.
Mistakes Make The Man
…..or woman. Either way, the message applies to all. I’ve learnt that mistakes are what propels us to progress but only if we’re willing to learn from them to correct ourselves and improve. I have made my fair share of mistakes as the next person, and I am bound to make many more. However, mistakes should not be something that causes a significant downfall. I have grown to understand that some mistakes are hard to come back from, but you can always right your wrongs eventually. Through my own mistakes, especially in my early adult years, I have realised that I would be nowhere near where I am emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally, and even financially without those mistakes. Those mistakes made me do better; they taught me lessons. Thankfully I had loved ones that would hold me accountable for my mistakes and give me the support, grace, patience, and space to be better. Mistakes are never the end.
Don’t Let Your Failures or Losses Stop You
Failures often discourage us in so many ways, especially when we let people decide how it affects us. Big mistake! One of my honest regrets is that I let how others view my failures affect me rather than how I view my failures. In general, I’m not an academic. Formal education has never been my strength apart from early primary school. I am no stranger to bringing home lousy report cards to my parents. And I also flunked out in my secondary education. School was probably the place and environment where I felt like the biggest failure and loser on earth, which is part of why I never liked school. When people often talk of school stages, they’d love to go back and relive for me honestly there’s none. But a more significant part of why this affects me is because I let it stop me, and most regretfully, I let people’s views on my failures affect me. So, teachers, parents, and elder relatives shunning me in various ways limited my self-belief and desire to progress and do better. However, I eventually and slowly got over that, and there was only one person who consistently encouraged me, my grandmother. Her words inspired me, and oddly enough, it wasn’t until I was much older that I leaned on those words, which partly got me through university and then postgraduate as well. I say all that to remind and enforce; you can start at zero and end up at 100 even after falling many times, how you progress and move forward is up to you. I’ve also let failure in other things stop me from trying. Nobody likes to fail, but adversity should not stop us.
Be Kinder To Yourself More Than & Before Others
As selfish as this sounds, the truth is you cannot pour into people from an empty cup. That breeds resentment and just tiredness regarding servitude, especially said individuals are close to you. Remember to have your moments and seasons where you focus more on yourself. Give yourself some love, and it can be in simple ways such as treating yourself if you achieve little or great things. You can also indulge in your hobbies or use your time to invest in yourself before you give that time to others. One habit I’ve started doing this year is giving myself a few hours in a day to commit to things that will help my advancement. I consider that a minor way of being kinder to myself. Another way is setting more boundaries with people, saying no a bit more or the odd “sorry I can’t help you right now, I’m a bit busy” goes a long way for one’s peace of mind. You don’t have to always carry people on your back. You also matter, and who is ever looking out for you better than yourself?
Forgiveness Benefits You
I’ve never struggled with forgiveness, and I credit that to how I was raised. Yes, you can address how someone may have hurt you but learning to forgive brings you more peace than being angry at another person. Holding a grudge and having a bad attitude will never free you emotionally and mentally as you keep tugging on. It’s okay never to forget because being fooled or wronged twice would be shameful in some ways. And just because you forgive somebody, it does not mean you have to continue accepting or endure continuous disrespect.
The “I Don’t Care What Others Think Of Me” Is Not The Right Mindset To Have Always
I’ve realised we live in a time where this kind of mindset is heavily promoted, especially in the personal development space. Even though I understand its sentiment as fuel to live your life and chase your dreams, I feel it can often present as careless and selfish. In some form, it is also unrealistic to an extent. Deep down, we all care what others think of us in some way, shape or form. I believe in some cases we should, especially out of consideration and how to represent ourselves and others from; friends and family to even cultural societies. It does not mean the world should be your final judge and decision-maker for your life, but it also helps to think of others and how your actions affect them, even in small ways.
Thanks For Reading,