Today the subject is friendship. From real friends to fake friends, to the ones that love you and those that pretend. Keep reading as I share with you what I’ve learnt about friendships;
Having true and honest friends is a blessing that we should all appreciate. Whether it is one friend or a dozen friends a good friend is one to be treasured always. But what is true friendship? some of us call ourselves real friends but how many of us are truly real friends till the real end? Especially in tough times where it is so easy to be heavily focused on ourselves and not those around us.
Many would define a friend as someone who you can be yourself around, someone who knows you to some extent better than you know yourself and feeds into your interests. Someone you can confide in and have fun with. But is that always the case? Is the definition of friendship or a real friend that generic? I don’t think so entirely. I believe the notion of a friend or a true friend or friendship is relative because individually we all value different things and have our ideas about what we want and desire from a friend.
We all deserve some love in our lives and as I’ve already said friends are a blessing but whilst wanting real friends around you, are you a real friend to those you call your ‘friends’? Is the kind of love your friend shows you reciprocal? Don’t even answer that just yet, think about it for a second and assess if the level of friendship you show is genuine.
I wouldn’t say I have several friends, though I know a lot of people only consider a selected few friends, and I keep them close as best as I can. Do I see or speak to them all the time? No. Do I check up on them regularly when it has been a while since I last heard from or spoke to them? Sometimes and maybe I could do a better job at it. What I’m trying to get across is that though I expect certain things from my friends to determine ‘true friendship’ am I demonstrating true friendship to them? Am I a real friend?
On one hand, I often realise that some friendships are fake, and the foundation of some friendships could be many things that to some extent seem evil. Some friendships are based on money, some vanity and some are based on opportunity or commonality of interest (which isn’t always a bad thing). The harsh reality is that the ones outside of your group of friends that see your ‘friendship’ can often tell from the outside looking in, the nature of your friendship.
Sadly, we live in a world where we want everything to be perfect. We’re afraid to go through hard times and sometimes we are afraid to do that with our friends. These days people often promote burning bridges the moment something goes wrong with their friends rather than patching things up and moving forward positively. Burning bridges although sometimes necessary, in my opinion, is not always the answer. Sometimes friends can grow apart or part ways peacefully. I also believe that sometimes life will humble you and you never know when you’ll need that person. I also say this because the reason/s we burn bridges does not always make sense.
It’s vital to bear in mind that your friend might make mistakes and you will too. Why? Because you’re only human and you’re not perfect, you make mistakes, learn from them, grow wiser and move forward to becoming better. If you’re constantly burning bridges recklessly, how do you expect to grow and develop true friendships with people? Constantly changing circles and claiming certain new friends as your “day ones”, like really? Is that a real friend? Your friend that made a mistake is not a bad friend despite what he or she did (of course in some situations). As a real friend don’t you owe it yourself and to them to patch things up? Why are you giving up on your friendship carelessly?
Some of us often talk about how we want real friends that will support and be there for us. But what’s the point in all those expectations of another person if you’re not going to be the same for them.
Think about it, from all the friends you’ve once had and still have from old to new, how many of us have been a real friend to them? How many of us listened and encouraged them in their lowest moments? How many of us helped them when they needed our support? How many of us cheered them on instead of being jealous and pulling them down when they were doing something big and positive?
Forget about if he or she is a real friend just for a moment and look at yourself from within.
Thanks for reading.