How To Avoid Feeling Like A Failure


First off, I’d like to start by saying that failure is part of life, it happens to everyone! Once you’ve failed; although disappointing, it does not in any shape, way or form dictate your life or chances of future success. Failure does not make you. I have had my fair share of failures; from bad grades in academics to endeavours just being a complete flop. Although disappointing, it has built a lot of character and it has contributed to where I am currently at now which is a good space in my life. If you fail you must keep trying, giving up is giving into failure. After all the great saying “if at first, you don’t succeed, try and try again” is still relevant in our society with many public figures from celebrities to entrepreneurs being an example.

Sometimes those around us can feed into our failures which can make us feel so useless and almost stupid for failing in our endeavours.

Failure sometimes contributes to how we feel. Sometimes, not getting what we want, no matter how hard we work, can make us feel like a complete failure. When you’re in such a position there are a few things you can do to get over that and start feeling better about yourself. Some may take time, but the point of focus here is building yourself up. So, here are 7 things you can do to avoid feeling like a failure;

1) Keep Trying

No matter what it is you’re trying to accomplish it can be done. Keep trying. Of course, it is not easy to keep grinding on the same mission day after day, and then reality smacks you in the face, and you come up short. The key here is persistence, but as you keep trying, be smart about how you’re going about it. Many times, we get so caught up in trying to succeed in certain areas so much, that we think one way of getting there will work. Just like how final destinations in travels and journeys have many routes, so does your road to success. Try things differently. For example, with academics; let’s say you’ve been doing horrible in maths, and you decide to get an after-school tutor to help. If that approach still has not changed things even in the slightest? Change it! Learn from your mistake and change it up a bit till things start working in your favour.

Never give up! I used to give up on so many things in life which are probably why for years I felt like the biggest failure on earth and nothing seemed to be going right. Quitting will never do you any favours. A wise man once said, “You cannot quit something until you are finished with it”. Do you know what that means? Failure is no final option. You cannot sit there and accept defeat, turn your losses into wins and ensure you come out shining in the end. Remember to also be patient and recognise that all good things take time. Nothing worth having comes easy. It could days, weeks, months or even years but if it’s meant to be you will succeed or at least gain some wisdom along the way.

2) Know Yourself

This is a very tricky one because knowing yourself is more complicated than it seems based on my own experience. Currently, I’m still trying to figure out who I am and what I want to be in this life and where I see myself.

So how does this relate to failure? Sometimes you could have failed due to an ability or skill you may not have. Knowing yourself does not always have to be some therapy session of emotions. In this case, it can be as simple as knowing your abilities, strengths as well as your weak points. There may also be areas you can work on and develop. Also, with certain things, you are just not good at it (I mean c’mon I’d love to sell a dream, but we cannot be good at everything! Not everything is for us to take and use up). You may have auditioned for a role in theatre production, or even applied for a job, and not have gotten hired or even considered for an interview. Have you ever asked yourself why? If not spend a few minutes pondering on that. Once you know yourself and what you can and cannot do at your mental capacity and physical abilities, it will help you to deal with failure better. How? Because you can play to your strengths and apply what you’re good at to a situation where you have previously not had the best luck, possibly changing the next outcome.

3) Stop Letting People Get In Your Head

To deal with failure better, you’re going to have to get better at ignoring people that put you down when you fail. Based on my academic misfortunes; I have been called names under the sun some by family, friends and people I’d never expect. words and phrases like “What’s wrong with you?” “Why are you so daft?” “Dumb” “Silly” “Stupid” “Slow” “Useless” I could go on forever. Yes, they were harsh at the time and it could crush your spirit, and effectively have you stuck on being a failure for so long. It may even result in you never trying at anything ever again, due to fear of judgement from others. That is what happened to me until I developed a thick skin and just focused on myself.

Based on my second point, that is what will fuel this third tip being applicable. Once you know yourself and appreciate yourself, you can learn to get over any negative comments people have to say about you, because you know that none of it is true. After all, you only tried something maybe once, twice or ten times and failed, but SO WHAT?! Those that mock you have also had their fair share of failures, but they probably do a better job at hiding it. All those words and jokes about your failures are not you. I’d end this point by saying that it is funny how those that doubted you at your failures will usually be the ones congratulating you at your successes.

4) Keep positive

Keeping positive is not always easy, yes, I know. I am also aware that circumstances can affect our desire and mood to even want to be positive. Personally, what helps me to stay positive is the endless possibilities to improve and become better. I know it sounds cliché but it’s true. If I have failed today that does not mean I have failed tomorrow. Tomorrow is a new day with endless possibilities and opportunities for success. Yesterday and all its problems are gone! Get over it! Unless you’re God, you’re not turning any clocks back so just keep moving forward and be positive. Positivity is a choice and a mindset; it overrides how you feel. How you feel changes like a light switch; on when you’re feeling good, and off when you’re feeling bad. When you decide to keep positive you will find yourself having little time to indulge in negative emotions and feelings. Keeping positive will enable you to overcome or work on overcoming your failures, because as you think positive things it only makes sense positive things start happening to you. Surround yourself with positive people who do positive things. Do positive things like reading books on self-development, go out and get some fresh air, socialise, meet new people, travel, pray, get closer to God……..the list is endless. Positive people usually never talk about failures or may see failure as a blessing because it presents an opportunity to be greater.

5) Always find a solution

You failed because of something. You didn’t fail just for the sake of it. Sometimes you may have not tried hard enough or missed certain steps or made a few mistakes. To do better next time just find a solution to the problem. Every problem has a solution and once you find a solution, you can proceed and progress with getting over your failures and having some success in your life.

6) Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

We all do this subconsciously. “She’s my age and she already has a property and I’m still living at home”, “I’ve been trying to push my business for years and no luck, but he’s been doing this for a year and he’s making millions”. “He’s only 18 and he bought himself a c-class Benz and I’m still driving an Astra” all examples of comparing oneself to another. Comparing yourself to others is no way to deal with failure. How about you focus on what you have and can have tomorrow. Be grateful for where you are in life because it could always be worse and remember that someone out there will be eager to trade places with you, just as you would with others.

7) Don’t Be So Hard On Yourself

Putting so much pressure on yourself is usually natural because you probably want the best for yourself. Don’t be so hard on yourself for not achieving or not having certain things as someone else does, or even in something you tried and failed. Whether you like it or not you’re exactly where you’re meant to be, so long as you keep trying, you’re not a failure. Be proud of your few accomplishments and learn to relax occasionally. You’ll be fine!

I hope all this helped and always remember that just because you fail or make mistakes it does not mean you’re a failure. Have you failed in anything ventured this year or made mistakes? It’s not late to turn things around. Keep going!

Thanks for reading, if you liked this and found it helpful in any way, please feel free to comment and like this post. Also share it with those that it would help. Follow to stay updated on any future content.

Stay Phenomenal

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