When it comes to dating, it can be tricky. There are many times in my experience where it was fun but not always. There are times where it can be a bit complicated and, sometimes you may be uncertain about what to do. Dating is made to be complicated in many ways, especially with the new age and development of technology surpassing certain traditions and ways of dating from previous generations. From my personal experience, as well as talking to other people, I have learnt that some people are always losing when dating. Some people can never seem to get what they want without getting their feelings hurt or their time wasted in the process. I have come up with 6 things that you can do to ensure that when it comes to dating you always win;
- Put yourself first, remember you’re the alpha and it is you that has the pick
It is important to remember that dating is a choice, it is your choice. So, put yourself first when you are dating. Date however you want to date in a way that you feel will work for you. So, you can either date by going out and meeting people in person, at events or occasions, or you can decide to date online or and interact via social media before getting personal. How you go about it is completely up to you. Also, when meeting new people and going on these dates, remember that you are in control. Whether you are a guy or a girl you’re the alpha who makes the selection. A selection based on whatever criteria you’re happy with, so don’t settle. Pick someone you’re happy with, and remember that however good or bad it goes you’re in charge.
- Don’t be or do what the other person wants, impress yourself first
This is fairly like the first point, only this time it is not about the selection. It is very easy to be intimidated by someone you’re dating; either by their good looks or dominant personality. One thing you never want to do is try to impress your date, as it can make you unhappy in the process. For example, you might have a conversation about food and your date mentions that she/he does not get guys/girls that are obsessed with vegan food. Now in this situation, if you’re intimidated and trying to impress the person, even though you are vegan in this case, then you might ignore that and completely go along with what they want. When dating, never do anything you’re uncomfortable with, just to make your date like you more. Don’t do what the other person wants if you’re not happy doing it. Move onto the next, plenty of fish in the sea.
- Be unemotional but intentional in the earlier stages
Being unemotional does not mean you have to be a heartless prick and not show off any personality. In this case, being unemotional just means you don’t want to come off a little too strong no matter how good you feel the vibe is. However, if you’re lucky and the tension and energies are matching then follow through with the vibe. Also, remember this is the early stages where you are just getting to know someone, sometimes it takes a few dates to be comfortable with the person you’re dating. Be careful not to overdo it with the emotions and feelings, just relax. You also want to be intentional with your dating. As much as it is fun to get what you want out of dating it is also fair, to be honest to the person, you’re dating in terms of what you want. Whether you’re looking for something a bit more friendly/casual, or you want something serious that could lead to building something long term. Be intentional and honest that way no one gets hurt and or wastes their time
- Don’t allow yourself to tolerate certain energies just because a person looks good or is simply nice
Don’t ignore the red flags or the little things you see that you know you cannot tolerate now or even in the long term. We all have certain things that we just cannot deal with. Do not ignore them just because the person you’re dealing with is good looking no matter how big or small. So, if you’re someone who likes a hardworking person, and you notice the person you’re dating doesn’t show that then you may have to let that person go no matter how nice they are to you. This is also applicable if the person is a bit rude but pushes it as banter. If that’s something you cannot tolerate don’t put up with it just because they make you laugh most of the time, and he/she claimed not to mean it. Energies are a powerful thing and when ignored they become an even bigger problem later.
- Be self-aware and always go with your gut
I don’t know about you, but for me, over the last few years, I have regretted the times I never listened to my gut instincts. Therefore, I try my best to listen to and go with my gut in a lot of things besides dating. Though it is not always easy, it must be done. Be aware of yourself, know yourself. That’s probably something I’d recommend you do before you even think about dating another person. Once you know what you stand for, the things you like/dislike and what kind of attributes work for you, you’ll be sure you can always trust your intuition. It is better than ignoring it only for something bad or stressful to come out of it, and you being filled with regret.
- At first, see it as just having fun, an opportunity to meet new people and enjoy it
This is the most important aspect of dating is to have fun, enjoy and hopefully gain something positive from it. Whatever way you decide to date, the main thing is to enjoy the experience of getting to know someone new. The beauty of that is, you get to learn more from the experience, as well as the person, and yourself. You might even get a few memories and some stories to tell later in life. Enjoy dating as much as you can.
Feel free to add any comments concerning this topic, if you’ve been stuck in a rut with dating, feel free to apply these 6 strategies and tweet me @livingpf and let me know how it worked for you. These are all 6 things I did when I was frequently dating, I have lived it! Remember to date happily, yet responsibly, and more importantly……..