Why Did You Stop?! – Intentions and Contradictions

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Before 9th September 2019, I know it had been a while since I last posted but I did not want to post anything just for the sake of it. I’ve always aspired to use this platform to either share knowledge or spread positivity in a way that others can learn from. My last post before “10 Things Nobody Told You About Life After University” was almost a year ago and since then a lot has gone on (I deleted my old posts because I wanted to start over with a different purpose and energy in mind). Without rambling on too much, I had to use the time to grow up and figure myself out, not just as an individual but as a grown man trying to evolve into one, I have always wanted to be. Lately, I feel I have found a new perspective for life and just in the way I want to do things. My mindset has changed differently in some ways and I have realised a lot about myself in the last year. I wanted to be consistent with this platform, and at times I thought I would give up with writing or blogging for that matter, but c’mon, of course that was not going to happen.
So, what has happened during the time I stopped blogging? Why did I stop??

Truthfully, I was very overwhelmed with life and reflecting on it, I have realised it was all my fault because as big as my ambitions were, and as eager as I was to fulfil everything I wanted to do, I could not handle it. My body and brain could not take it. My mind wanted soo much, but my body was contradicting my thoughts in action and sometimes it would work the other way around. Last year I set out to grow a business, as well as this blog (which was under a different name at the time) and juggle a 9-5 that requires a lot of my active mind for my work to fulfil corporate standards. Of course, I also had to live my life and fulfil personal endeavours. Most of that was last year and to be honest none of which worked out for me as I intended.

As sad as it was, I’m glad I learned the lesson and it taught me about how my body works. It is important to listen to your body and it is okay to not be able to do something at a moment but to do it later. All in all, I’m grateful to have found a new direction and be more self-aware as to what I can and cannot handle and what I want and do not want to do going forward.

I tried to do so much that it just didn’t work with my reality. You could sort of say I neglected myself whilst trying to keep up with someone/something else. I was trying to chase what was a dream at the time but in real life, I was struggling. I was always tired and just started to lose energy especially at work, and even things like going to the gym, I stopped because I was always too drained and exhausted to go. Early mornings became difficult to go to the gym, and let’s just say weekends flew by. Would I say I lost the passion or interest for writing? To be honest I don’t know, but I didn’t feel any reason to keep writing during that time.

Regarding my business, it was a sneaker customising brand which I slowly grew out of love with. As something that started as a hobby or experiment, the moment I turned it into something I could monetise, it took its toll on me. This was mainly because every custom design, and every reason for posting content on social media was to gain some sort of traction which could potentially lead to a sale. It became solely about the money rather than the love for it or building a foundation. Keeping up with it became more of a chore and I remember late nights being up till 2-3am just trying to think of ideas or creating more but thinking whether it was even worth it. Funny enough, having to wake up at 6 am and go to work then led to me being tired at work and not giving work my best, which is the main thing that looks after me and pays my bills. I no longer knew what the dream was or what to even do next.

Realising I hit a new low, I spent some time just trying to figure myself out, not about earnings or any career-based aspect. I spent time with myself as well as those I consider important to me in my personal and social life. Doing that gave me more clarity and was probably the main thing I needed. 2018 ended bittersweet, more sweet at the end but for the rest of it bitter!

Fast forward to right now, I have learnt that life is in my hands, and despite how much I feel I may need or want to do, all good things will take time and come in their seasons. I am responsible for my own life, for the successes and mishaps. I also realised I have a lot to share. I learn daily and I want to share more of it. To connect with other people and grow a community which allows everyone who reads or consumes my content, to learn and be better especially coming from a place of truth. I have found my desire to enjoy and nurture this very platform of mine again, and I am so happy for what is to come. I plan on being more consistent, so I will be more active and if you want to see more you can follow my social media which I will provide all the information on below.

You can expect content based on; lifestyle, fashion, fitness and any other I feel the world deserves to also see which represents Living Phenomenally Flavoursome.

Currently, I’m in a better place where my mind is clearer, I know what my strengths are and I’m working on my weaknesses. I have grown a bit, and I will be sharing the transition and the journey from here on out so get acquainted!

Thanks for reading

Follow on Instagram and twitter @LivingPF and feel free to leave a comment below as it does help me out with future content.

Stay Phenomenal

4 thoughts on “Why Did You Stop?! – Intentions and Contradictions

  1. My guy…with the creativity.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My guy!! I’m grateful for your support and taking time to see the value in the content

      Like

  2. Phenomenally written!! But then I’m your biggest fun & I’m so proud of you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 😁😁😁I’m so glad I’m making you proud in my endeavours thank you for reading and being my greatest cheerleader ❤️

      Like

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